All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
