I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
