i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
