The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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