Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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