My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
