Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
