how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
