Ambien. No doubt about it.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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