I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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