someone get that fucking seahorse.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
