I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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