I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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