I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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