you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you will always have a special place in my vag
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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