so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
