the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize