the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
