Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
