What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
