just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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