She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
