Your dad touched me again.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
