I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize