Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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