Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
