Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
