They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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