i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize