he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
