Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
