There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
