Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
