It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
