There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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