Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
