Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
