i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
