where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
