i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
