Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
