I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
