you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
