Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
