so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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