I hate your face
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I need water and some morals
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
