Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he wants to bone in the snuggie
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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