There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
