You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
