I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
