Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize