I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize