Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize