did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
