he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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