i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
